Guidelines
Here you will find some general guidelines that reflect our vision of children and support the caring and empathetic relationships we want to build with them.
Children's needs and feelings
If you need to talk with another facilitator or an adult, or use the telephone, please find a place where children will not overhear you or where you won't interfere with their activities.
We never talk about the children when the children are around, even if we think they are not paying attention to us.
We do not comment on a child's work by using platitudes such as "pretty" or "nice", etc. Try to be descriptive of what you see, and honest in how you feel about it without making judgements.
We do not compare one child's work with another's.
We do not show children how to do something (i.e. drawing, tying up shoelaces, knitting, etc.) by doing it for them; instead, we show them how we do it, using our own sheet of paper, our own thread, etc. and describing what we do in the first person ("I do it like this: I take the origami paper and fold it twice...").
If a child comes to us for help, ask them to be as precise as possible in describing what it is they need from us ("Can you help me?", "What is it you need help with"?)
Whenever possible, we should encourage them to find themselves a way to do things ("Yes, how do you think we could do that?").
We do not give our opinions, or show our personal preferences, or offer advice or solutions if a child has not asked for them.
We do not force children to share the toys they are playing with when another child wants them. But we do comfort a child when he/she wants a toy that won't be given up by another and this is a cause for frustration.
In the same way it would be rude to talk about an adult when they are right there and can hear us, we do not talk about a child using the third person, and NEVER mock them or laugh about anything that is important to them.
Children's behaviour
Physical or verbal aggression (such as insults and judgements) is not permissible ("We don't use those words here"). We ask children, if they are willing, to explain the reasons for their anger ("When you insult somebody you show them you're angry, but you are not saying what it is that's making you feel upset").
We do not allow a child to grab something from another without his/her permission. Nor do we allow a child to give solutions to another or do a task for another without having been asked to (We can say something like "Each one of us needs to work on his/her own tasks").
We do not tolerate verbal or physical manipulation, especially from the older children towards the younger ones ("If you don't play with me, I won't invite you to my birthday party"). Be mindful, however, that "an eye for an eye" is NOT an acceptable way of dealing with these issues, much less coming from an adult.
We encourage the expression of needs and desires ("If you want somebody to play with you, you might say: 'Would you like to play with me?' Or '"I would like to play with you.' We don't order other people about, but we can ask them if they would like to do something.").
When a child behaves in a way that does not fit our expectations or the agreements we have as a community, please try to find out the reasons for it by speaking to the child him/herself and to other children who might be involved.
Allow the child to speak before reprimanding or demanding. Do not assume anything unless it has been confirmed by more than one person ("when you assume you make an ass of you and me").
We will not be asking parents to pick up their children before pick-up time for behavioural reasons unless the child is hurting his/herself or others and we cannot deal with the situation.
Children want to cooperate with us in creating a safe school. If a child begins to tell you about something that's happened that you have no information on, the priority is to listen to them, even if we need to leave other things aside for a few minutes.
Please inform Diana or Diego ASAP of any behaviours or situations involving verbal or physical aggression, or very disruptive behaviour.
Learning spaces
As a general rule, materials should be used in the spaces where they are kept (there are some exceptions to this, such as using certain psychomotor play equipment outside, reading in the garden, or doing art sessions outdoors).
When children are playing and self-directing their own activities, we do not interfere unless we are asked by the children.
Whenever children ask us our opinion in relation to their work, it is important to assess what the child's underlying needs are: is the child manifesting her need for autonomy/connectedness/recognition..? Sometimes, all a child needs is that we pay attention to him/her, look at their work, and show them we wholeheartedly appreciate the time and care they've put into it.
We give children whatever time they need to make up their minds and make decisions.
We do not put pressure on children to come to workshops or offerings, but we do set a timetable to allow them to take responsibility for their learning process.
Communication
Before speaking to a child, we approach him/her, we allow them to notice we're there, and we observe in silence in order to find out when it is the right moment to speak in order to avoid interrupting a self-directed activity.
Before we speak to a child, it is important to establish eye contact with them.
Any explanations we give to a child should be brief, concrete and suited to his/her age. We should avoid abstract explanations and opinions, and use instead descriptions which relate directly to the child's experience.
We avoid talking about a child and attributing qualities and thoughts to them when they are present.
When talking to a child, keep your voice down so as not to interfere with the activities of other children.
When addressing ourselves to a group of children to give them directions or explanations, it is important to ascertain that there is a receptive climate among them, and that the children's attention isn't captured by toys or other distractions.
Setting limits
When setting a limit we must do our best to acknowledge –especially through non verbal communication– the child's underlying need. If possible, offer an acceptable alternative ("Do you need to run now? Maybe we could go outside").
We abstain from making judgements and simply state what we see (instead of saying "You need to be more careful!" we could say something like "You bumped into me when you were running in the corridor.")
We refrain from teaching anything unless we have been asked to (we wouldn't say things like "You need to learn to say thank you".)
Limits should be expressed clearly and concisely, in language suited to the child's age.
Allow the children plenty of time to respond to your words and actions.
In order to deal with behaviour issues, we resort to dialogue and emotional connection, never to punishments. Restorative justice is the basis for our conflict resolution system: instead of thinking "What rule has been broken?" think: "What was the harm done and how can we repair it?"
Always follow our Behaviour Policy when setting limits and dealing with conflict. Allow the children, whenever possible, to sort things out amiably for themselves. Let them reach their own agreements, as long as these do not have a negative impact on any member of the community.
Instead of offering judgements, try to describe what you see and hear, to ask, to clarify, speak for any child who cannot speak for his/herself.
We do not ask children to repress or ignore their emotions, we help them acknowledge those feelings and allow them to find adequate means of expressing them.
We do not give our opinion on anything a child is feeling.
We do not try to avoid frustrations for the children –as this is part of their social learning process– but do our best to be there for a child who is upset.
Movement and physical development
We do not pull children up from the ground or carry them somewhere else when they've tripped or fallen accidentally –unless they need immediate treatment. Nor do we ask them what has happened until they are feeling calm enough to explain.
We do not intervene whenever a child is taking on challenges related to psychomotor development, such as climbing, jumping from heights or balancing. If the child wants to do something but is still unable to, we are there for him/her but do not help him/her achieve her goals by doing it for them (for example by lifting up a child so he/she can reach a tree branch).
We avoid making comments or judgements when a child is learning to take on physical challenges.
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